Beauty Is A State Of Mind

      I recently just finished reading the book Dumplin' By Julie Murphy. and honestly I got almost all the way through it and then it took me a while to finish it. I will admit I saw the Netflix movie version before I read this book. I absolutely loved the movie and I thought the book would be the same. Unfortunately, although it was very good, I didn't feel the same way about the book as I did the movie. It was still very inspiring for me. it reminded me that beauty is more a state of mind then how someone looks. I struggle frequently with the way I look, I am on the bigger side, but there are days where I wake up and I feel good about myself. And nothing stops that.

The main character in this book goes through a semi similar situation. She has confidence for days, where I do not, but when she starts to see a boy that she really likes she starts to lose some of that confidence. I hear relationships can do that to you. Now this girl, Willowdean, she ends up signing up for a pageant that her mother runs. She doesn't sign up to get her confidence back or even to try to win the thing. She signs up to make a statement, just because you don't fit society's rules of beauty... does not mean that you aren't beautiful. We are all beautiful in our own way, I have never not believed that. However we don't always feel beautiful. and I'm not saying this is exclusive to big girls because believe me it isn't. All girls feel like they look like shit sometimes.

Hence the reason why I say beauty is a state of mind. When I feel beautiful, it's usually because I woke up feeling good or productive. Sometimes it's me wearing my favorite shirt or buying something I've really wanted. I'm sure other girls might say different things about when they feel beautiful. But my point is this, just because you don't feel beautiful doesn't mean you aren't. Sometimes you need to hear it, other times you need to do something to feel that way. And it's different for everyone. Now I know everyone hears that whole thing about how beauty is in the eye of the beholder. But no one ever asks how the beauty feels about herself. 

Davinci painted the portrait of Mona Lisa because he thought she was beautiful but does anyone ever wonder how she felt about herself? I honestly doubt it. I bet Mona saw the painting and was all "I forgot to smile can we do another one." or maybe she thought her hair looked bad. maybe she thought it made her look fat. But Davinci he gets everyone talking about him and how he is such a great painter. Don't get me wrong he's amazing but girls have had body issues since the dawn of time. And that ain't gonna change anytime soon. So how do girls make themselves feel pretty? Some use makeup, others choose clothes, and other people like me might feel beautiful depending on their mood.  

This book just reminded me of all of this. So yeah I've felt beautiful pretty much the whole time I've been reading it. But it was the pageant that actually did me in. I think those things are so boring. I mean why do we need to say someone is more beautiful then someone else? I mean all of us are beautiful, but I'm not gonna go down that road again. The book is wrote very well and I definitely recommend it if you can get over the pageant hump. 

I know it's been a while since my last post but I promise I haven't abandoned it. As always feel free to comment and share. I've said it before and i'll say it again. As long as there is one person that reads i'll keep writing. If you have any recommendations for me you can leave those in the comments too. It's always nice to try a new book I haven't read.

That Feeling When...

   I'm sure, if your a reader, you've had that feeling when your reading this book and it's really good so you wanna tell your friends and people about it. But it's just hard to describe what the book is about and how it reads so you struggle to try to describe it while in your head you have a constant stream of  "Just read the book." running through your head. Well that's where I am at the moment. See I'm reading the book Children of Blood and Bone by Tomi Adeyemi. It's really good and i really like it, the problem is describing it to you. I mean it's a book about what is basiclly witches. But it's more then that there's a whole culture behind it and it's honestly put together extremely well. 

      I really just wanna say go read it and be done. But i know i should probably say more then that. For me it's one of those books that is kind of up and down. You know the beginning is really good but then it gets slow. But what you don't realize is that it's not slow it's just slowly building towards something. And at some point as it's building you start to feel it. Like your right there, you feel what they feel you can almost see where they are and what they're doing. It's magic, and it's all because of the author. When someone can transport me through time and space to this whole other world... I'm in i'm a fan for life. I mean there might be stories that i'm more fond of then others but i'm there.

       Now i get that this may not be the book for everyone but I would definetely give it a chance, and in this case a chance is two maybe three chapters. If you're anything like me I promise you won't regret it. God i wanna just show you what i mean because when I'm reading it I'm right there in that world. But i guess all i really can say is that you should really try reading this book. I think you'll really like it.

As always feel free to share this with friends or comment. If your a regular reader thank you so much. It means a lot that even one person out there in the world reads my blog. As long as even just one person reads this i will keep posting. Heck I might keep posting just for me. But like I said thank you for reading i'm eternally grateful. Also sorry for all my grammer, and possible spelling, mistakes.

The Hate U Give Little Infants Fucks Everybody

So as most of you know, i hopeing, i've been reading this book. the title is the title of my post for today.It’s actually a pretty good book. It’s got a lot of insight to racism. And not just towards african americans. Granted I have never really been a victim of racism but I have seen it happen to friends and even family. And I just don't understand how people think like that. I’m a firm believer that everyone should be treated equally. Like we’re all people, cause we are. And I think I actually got that from Pokémon to be honest. I watched the tv show when i was a kid and when Pokémon the first movie came out I watched it. It’s still my favorite Pokémon movie out today.

    Anyway my point is that in the movie, towards the end so sorry spoilers, Mew two learns that he and his man made creations aren’t really that different from the real pokemon. Which makes him understand that it shouldn’t matter where you come from. Because everyone is really the same. Or pretty damn close. And i say i learned this from pokemon because honestly, my parents are racist i can admit that. My dad could admit that he was racist against black people. My mom is racist against black people too, not as bad as my bad but still kind of is. But her big one is mexicans. I swear right now that I am not racist at all. Again I think everyone should be equal. 

    But reading this book I'm beginning to realize that just because it isn’t talked about as much does not mean that racism isn’t around anymore. Because it is. I mean if you think about stereotypes in relation to racism there’s actually a lot of racism, and sexism but that’s another thing entirely, out there. It makes me sad to think that people grow up with this crap, or worse that kids are growing up hearing and seeing these stereotypes about races and thinking it’s true. I’m always telling mom, and I fully believe it, you can not judge a full race on a hand full of people. I mean if you wanna do that you might as well just say that you hate all people because there are bad people in every race. 

    Granted I do think we should be able to joke about this kind of stuff but there is a line and going beyond that line can hurt people in one way or another. Now i'm not finished with the book yet but it's already had an impact on me. I've actually thought about a few things i may have said or done in the past that may have come off as rascist. I would like to say that i haven't been ignorantly rasicist but i can't because i honestly don't know. But i will say I'm gonna try harder not to be. So thank you Mrs. Angie Thomas for bringing to light how much bullshit we as humans turn a blind eye to.

Not so Bookish?

So normally I write something about the book I'm currently reading or something along those lines. but today I wanna talk to you about this show I've been watching on Netflix. It's called Glow it's about the beginning of women's wrestling. now before you go into the whole "wrestling is fake" or "I don't like wrestling" thing, I get it I do I'm not too big on wrestling myself. but the thing is it's about more then that wrestling just happens to be the main point. To me it kind of shows just how much work actually goes into the production that is wrestling. I mean there's training for the matches then acting for the extra stuff and a very real risk that something could go wrong. But it's also pure passion, the people that do this just wanna be able to show little girls and boys that they can be strong when they grow up. They want people to know that if they can go through something, fake maybe but still possible, then maybe you can get through it too.

Now I'm not saying you need to click away and go watch it right now, like I said before not everyone's cup of tea. But I'm enjoying it myself, there honestly is a little something for everyone. It's not just this show though. Tv/Netflix is getting so much more relatable now, can you tell I've been watching a lot of Netflix, it's to the point where I can relate to something in almost any really good show. I'm sure a lot of you feel that way too. Tv shows and movies, in my opinion, are a lot like books but in a visual sense. I mean all of us when we read have pictures to go along with it that flow through our heads. Tv and movies are basically the same thing, maybe not quite the way you imagined it, but it's still essentially a story. And stories have evolved so much over the years, the first story was actually vocal. It was a very long time before stories were even wrote down. And even then they might have changed a little depending on the memories or knowledge of the one writing the story. Then slowly they started to turn books into movies or base movies off of books.

We all know that those usually come out pretty good. Some of them can be shit, you know the one that your thinking of right now, but it's still a version of the story. I feel like this has gone way off track, that happens a lot with me, it went from talking about tv to what is basically a history lesson on the origin of stories. But maybe that's why we like tv and movies so much, especially those of us that don't read a lot, it's a story you can watch. A story that easier to connect with because instead of just being told how a charecter is feeling, you see it on their face and in the way they use body language. How many people do you know that can watch any movie and say they had absolutely no connection or reaction to it? I bet very little if any. So yeah maybe this started about a tv show, or maybe it started out as a story. But I'll leave that for you to decide. As always feel free to leave comments if you want, you can also definitely share this with your friends if, in any form at all, you like this and think they should read it. And if you made it this far... thanks for reading my rambling.

Recently Read

   Today I finished a book I have been reading for a couple weeks. It's a doctor who 50th anniversary edition with 11 doctors and 11 stories. It was actually really good. I enjoyed it a lot, in fact I'm considering going and watching the original doctors, honestly I probably won't. The 11 stories were written by 11 different authors but it was amazingly well written. I didn't want to post about this book sooner because I honestly wasn't sure I would finish it. I'm glad I did though I enjoyed it a lot. 

   I took my time going through this book because I've felt like I've been in a little bit of a reading slump lately. I enjoy reading a lot but sometimes I need to take it slow so I don't feel like it's a chore or has to be done. Because reading isn't fun when it's work. I've known that my whole life.

   The next book I plan on tackling is The Hate You Give by Angie Thomas. Now with this one I saw the movie first, and I thought the movie was really good and very insightful to what african americans go through in their lives. But It was also hard to watch at times. So I'm not sure how far I'll get with this one but i hope to finish it. If not for the simple insight then for the fact that I really dislike leaveing a story unfinished. Sometimes it just has to be done though. 

    So wish me luck readers, and don't be afraid to comment if you want. Maybe you could recommend me some books to read next. Or even some tips to make my blog more...readable? Interesting? I can't promise any kind of regularly secdualed posts though. Simply because sometimes I don't know how to put my thoughts into words. 

YA Fiction

  What is it about Young Adult fiction that keeps me, and a lot of other people, wanting to read more of it. Is it the way it's written or is there something about been a teen or a young adult that we seem to connect with. All the best stories, in my opinion, come from YA. I couldn't tell you why. In fact a lot of the stories I read in that genre don't give an exact age for the main characters. So is it the experience of reading something so unbelievable, and provides an escape, or is it that I can connect to the character. Or maybe it's both. Don't get me wrong there are some good adult books too but for some reason I keep coming back to young adult. 

    Is it easier for authors to write YA? Or maybe it's easier to come up with whole new worlds when you think about young adults. I find YA fiction enchanting and very diverse actually. You have YA historical fiction, YA fantasy, Ya sci-fi, YA romance, and probably a lot more. I think that because the YA genre is so diverse it's easier to be creative with that. YA I feel is the label that has infinite labels. I know that might sound weird but if you think about it you can take all the other genres and make them for young adults and poof it's YA.

   I know a lot of people don't really read but the audiobooks, I've heard, are very good as well. Some of them are even read by a full cast of characters which I assume would be like listening to a play. Regardless I think the appeal of YA is simple, it's magic. It's where anything can happen, you can go anywhere. And yes it has it's limitations all genre's do. But I personally think that YA has the most leeway within it. So nine times out of ten when I'm picking up a new book it's in the YA genre. 

   I'm not here to convince you to read, or listen to, YA. But if you don't read a lot YA might be the best place to start. All books though are magical in their own way. Fiction gives us an escape and/or entertainment. Non Fiction teaches us things or gives us advice. So maybe it's just that I'm a bookworm but I feel like books might be the most precious things man has ever made. It's an example of what the human mind can imagine. I would hate to see the day that imagination runs out. 

   So I hope that new stories, new worlds will never stop being created. That they never stop being wanted. I know I'll never stop wanting new stories to devour. 

Currently Not Reading

   So in my last post I talked about the series I was reading. Yes I said was. That is due to the fact that although the writing of the Maximum Ride series is still wonderful, it just got boring for me. Not that it isn't a good story but for me it felt like I was reading the same plot over and over. I'm the kind of reader that has to be kept, basically, wanting more. I like the books I read to keep me entertained and wanting to know more about the story. So reading a series where every book seems to be, save the world get caught by bad guys escape bad guys, just doesn't do it for me.

    So I have moved on to the next book of course having just started it I don't really have much to say about it. But I can say that it's young adult fiction. I read mostly YA books. That's where all the best books seem to be. I've learned in the last few years that if you feel obligated to read a book or if you're just reading it to finish it, then it's probably better to just step away from it. Maybe try it again later down the road. I can't tell you how many books I've come back to over the years and some that were once hard to get through have turned out really good. 

    One of the books that was like that a lot for me was Crime and Punishment I put it off for so long because I didn't think I'd like it or because i felt like it was gonna be boring. But i ended up having to read it for an english class and now i count it as one of my favorite books. So in the long run, just because a book doesn't seem interesting now doesn't mean it won't later. 

     Just because your Currently not Reading something, see what I did there, doesn't mean you can't be currently reading it later. Reading is suppose to be fun and an escape. If that means not finishing something then don't be afraid to set it aside. Maybe it's not what you want to/ are supposed to be reading right now. But I'm sure you can find something. And if looking at a hard copy book is something that can be hard for you to do try an EBook or an audiobook. What works for one person might not work for someone else. And if your not much of a reader that's fine too. But I think your missing out. 

Currently Reading

    For my first blog in a long time I figured I would play it semi safe and talk about the book I am currently reading, or series I guess. I will try my best to avoid spoilers just in case you decide to pick it up. 

      Currently I am reading the Maximum Ride series by Mr. James Patterson. I've wanted to read this series for years but I have held off because I wasn't sure I would be able to keep myself interested in them. Now I regret holding back, they are such good books. Mr. Patterson writing style is so captivating. He tells the story from the point of view of the kids in the story. Max, Fang, Iggy, Nudge, The gasman, and Angel. They way it's wrote for me is so compelling because even if I set the book down for a little bit I am drawn back in simply because I want to see what happens to the kids. Speaking of the kids in the books, they aren't like us. Their DNA is spliced with avian DNA. Which means, you guessed it, they have wings. 

        But it's not just the wings and the way they describe how it feels to fly that keeps bringing me back to the books. It's the odd relatability that keeps me wanting more. Take Max for example, she may be my favorite, it's easy for me to relate to her simply because she is a fourteen year old that has to grow up too fast. My own past was not ideal for me but I too had to grow up faster then I should have. Unlike Max who takes care of five other people, making sure they are fed and safe, I never had to take care of anyone. I did however, deal with bullies and just horrible treatment that caused me to put up mental blocks which forced me to focus more on surviving then being a kid. 

      It's this relatability, I believe, that once made this series so popular. Because although none of us are mutant bird kids trying to survive, as far as we know, we all deal with the mental stresses of growing up in a world where many of us fight our own mental health just to survive day to day. We may not have powers but we are super, in the way that most of us deal with so much that sometimes it feels like it would be easier to give up. By choosing to fight and work to survive, mentally or physically, that makes us stronger then we know. My respects to mr. Patterson in being able to convey feelings like that through words.

        If you haven't read this series yet, I encourage you to at least give it a chance. Who knows you might end up actually enjoying it.